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Coffee’s very sick. I’m losing her. How do I live without her?

Happy New Year. Do you make resolutions, I do. Here are mine.

I am finishing my diet.
I am working on my blog.
I am helping Coffee fight cancer.
I am finishing the rehabbed house.
I am staying on my budget with 0 spending

Coffee’s chemo stopped working. Her lymph nodes are huge. We went for an emergency opening at the oncology unit. Coffee’s cancer has progressed. Not the chemo or herbs are working. The doctor said we did have other options there is one tried chemo and one experimental chemo left. Coffee doesn’t have much time. She will never see the new fence at the new house up north. She will never see the spring. She won’t see her next birthday. She won’t see me everyday when I wake up. She won’t be there anymore….how do I do this?

When dad was getting sick he would tell me words mean nothing. Words on television , in plays, in newspapers mean nothing. Yet I am a teacher and I lived by words. I taught children letters, and letter combinations, and words to read and words to comprehend. I showed them books in my 8000 book collections that sent them to new places and new adventures. My life has been made around words. So in my new house their is a vinyl saying in every room, that matches that room.

I used to tell my students when they were called names not to start fights over words, walk away.

But words rule out lives and words are everywhere. Words are important.

Coffee had good blood work today and she seems to be not as sick from this chemo as the last three weeks. She still gets tired and she still goes up and down on eating. I did find out that there is a Facebook group called canine cancer support. They are really nice people who are going thru the same things we are. 8000 dogs a year are diagnosed with cancer.