Archive March 16, 2014

I met a new family member today. She is wonderful and she made me happy. Her nickname is Moo and she is six months old. She’s my grand niece.

“Fringe times are crucial” says Melanie Griffin to her friend as she tries on fancy clothes that belong to someone else to try on a life she doesn’t have.

Maybe its because I grew up on a farm by myself, with no siblings my age. Maybe it’s because my mom always expected me to keep busy. Maybe because I learned to talk to myself and keep myself busy but I can fill any fringe time. Talking on the phone, doing paperwork, creating art….I can always keep busy. I now think of my time doing this as a teacher, a waste with nothing to show for it….lots of teaching awards…..wood and glass. Doesn’t do much for me now. But working 100 hours a week have me a rush and I really loved all the extra stuff I was doing. Taking my ideas for the classroom or school and bringing them to life. I loved that.
I used to do all the family social events up to 400 people, family nights, dances, open houses. I loved it. I loved the planning and the preparation. Too bad there is not just a job like that in a school.

I took all that work with me wherever I went. Lunch, dinner, day out. I always carried work with me…..fringe times you know. Walking was listening to books on tape to find the next cook novel for my students.

I lived with Harry Potter one summer and Junie B. Jones. I never liked Junie B. until I listens to the books on tape. The reader bring Junie to life like Stochard Channing does the Ramona series. I love that.

Fringe times are crucial. ……LOLOLOL

My other favorite line from that movie
“To quote Coco Chanel, Less is more”

I belong to the teachers professional Facebook page and I hear about the teachers getting hurt all the time. I had a friend who teaches high school. She was sexually assaulted afew weeks ago and told the principal she was calling the authorities and reporting it. The assistant principal said if she called the evaluation police would be in her room daily! This is not right. A lot of thing in my old school system are not right, but being a victim of a continuos assault by a first graders with no school action until it causd a permanent traumatic brain injury, so maybe I am a little more predjudice about violence against teachers than normal teachers but the public has to know. Police officers and firefighters get protective hear. Teachers get nothing! This has to change.

When life gets rough, what do you do? Do you hide? Do you eat? Do you cry? Do you rock out on music? I found this article on www.lifehack.org and I started thinking. Not everything applied to me but some does.

Do you ever get tired of “it is always something?” When I told someone my dog had cancer, and the dog is my world, that person said “it’s always something with you!” She’s right. How do you keep life from creating the always somethings? It is not like you choose and things happening to you?

Buddah says “it is resistance to what is that causes suffering”. I make myself miserable by obsessing over it. I need to accept the things I cannot change and change the things I can.

I need to change myself. You have to start with yourself. Change yourself change things around you. I don’t know if I need more knowledge or I need more of a positive attitude. I guess I have to figure out what I need to change about me.

I need to live in the present. My dad said I was never happy with anything. I always wanted more, wanted better, and was never happy with what I had. That wasn’t entirely true. I was happy with things but I did want more.

I am always afraid. I was always afraid before I was attacked but I made myself do the things that were hard for me but it was a rush trying to conquer my fears. After I was attacked I was always afraid and conquering my fears wasn’t a rush anymore, it was a chore….a life changing chore….

I know things do change. I am a person that doesn’t like change. Maybe I have to be a different person and be more accepting of change.

We must face the choice between what is right and what is easy”

That happened to me four year ago and it wasn’t not easy. The easy way would have said I give up. The hard way was fighting for 19 months and ruining my health. But I took the hard road and fought, fought, fought. They say I won, I don’t know if I did win. I know I could not walk away in the midst of what happened but fighting was hard. What was more hard is there was a whole bunch of stuff I know no one told me, and I doubt I will ever find out what it was. What’s worse then fighting is fighting in the dark.

Do you know how you find those favorite quotes in movies and remember them. Then they make you think or they relate to a part of you that you have experience with.

I love this one that Peter Mellark says in The Hunger Games 2 Catching Fire.

“But our lives aren’t measured in years. The measure in our lives are the people we touch around us.”

I love that quote. So I nave decided as I watch movies and hear a quote I love am recording it. Being a former teacher I guess that is why I like Peter’s quote. I like to think I have touched and made somewhat of a difference in some of my student’s lives. The teacher in me loves this quote.

My October chair

We are a break this week….horray. We are just a week behind. Cofffee finished her prednisone yesterday and she seems to be going back to regular drinking, eating and peeing. I am so happy we trained her to puppy pads first and then outside. Saves so many accidents. Anyway she is doing well. We went for walk yesterday and I let her walk a little and pushed her in her stroller.

Today we had a good walk and Coffee decided since it was 50 degrees, that there was no sweaters, no shirts and no winter coats! Naked walking, the dogs were so happy. At one point they had sweaters, winter coats and boots and could only make it a few houses before they went back on the stroller. “Frozen feet” was bad this winter.

This was us all bundles up, three frozen winter vortexes…..bad…..frozen foot….even worse.

I found this on www.lifehack.org. The idea is that you can always relate to something you have learned and apply it to your own life……and to learn from it.

1. Stop justifying

2. Stop making excuses

3. Start taking responsibility

4. Rise above other people opinion

5. Quit your bad habits

6. Think before you respond

7. Just let go

8. Remove “I can’t”

9. Be grateful

I am still working on the organizing book but my new book is The Happiness Project by Rubin. I have only gotten to the month of March but each month has something to work on, so I am working on happiness. I guess really I have to find it, if it’s here I have to recognize it.

Content from the book:
January Vitality boost energy
February Marriage remember love
March. Work aim higher
April Parenthood lighten up
May Leisure be serious about play
June Friendship make time for friends
July Money buy some happiness
August Eternity contemplate the heavens
September Books pursue a passion
October Mindfullness pay attention
November Attitude keep a contented heart
December Happiness boot camp perfect

Now I am working on my health and boosting energy. Chia seeds, probiotics, accupuncture, cleanses.

I guess I have to work on the love part. My fiancé and I need to spend more time together, we used to go out every Friday night and just chill out a couple hours. But then we got Coffee puppy and I got assaulted, and I was so wasted at the end of everyday….we just stopped. So this is something we have to work on, I miss the Friday nights out.

Working and aiming higher, not too bad…..I paint chairs, fun furniture and I donate them to organizations that can sell them. What’s the difference if you give money or donate items to their causes. I like helping people.

We are in week 5 Chemo treatment 4.

Doesn’t it see like five weeks that we have been battling cancer? Have made five trip to Madison and my little Coffee dog has been given treatments? Wow.
I talk to lots of people here waiting for their dogs treatments. Since we are an oncology center we talk to a lot of dog parents that have chemo. Many are experiencing problems with the chemo, being sick, losing their hair, very fatigued. Until I talk to them I don’t realize how lucky WE are. COFFEE gets tired and we have to stay on our nap schedule, but it’s the nap schedule for me. So she adjusted to me being sick and having to rest, other than that she doesn’t know she’s sick. Thank you god! We have three more prednisone treatments and she’s finished with that part of the treatment.
This chemo is the worst of the four types. It’s the one that if a dog is going to have a reaction this is the one they do it with, so my little “radioactive red” hopefully will get thru this too!
We were having fun and trying to decide what new nickname for Coffee….radioactive red, nutro nugget, or glow girl. So fun. We have to laugh and have some fun in the middle of the big “c”

Waiting for chemo, at UW Madison oncology unit.